It's the beginning of a new year and around the DMV area, we were gifted with the start of this week being a snow day. The epic Monday snow day. It allowed us one more purposeful day of rest, and was much needed by many and I hope taken advantage of as well.
If you're wired in anyway that is goal-oriented, you're probably eager to get started with this whole 2022 thing. And maybe this year is feeling a bit jerky, stopping and starting... and maybe it's been smooth so far. Let's set on minds on the latter. Either way, we proceed.
I am personally planted back in my mothers home for the next couple of months, after having spent the last 5 months traveling across the country and back, living in a self- converted Sprinter van (RV) with my partner, Austin. I was hopeful that I would still be teaching virtual yoga to some degree while on the road, but the stability of WiFi or having guaranteed service wasn't something I had set up in advance, knowing we would be doing some "off the grid" traveling. If I'm being honest, which I would say is a big part of my mission and what I stand for, I just honestly didn't have my business solid enough or together to make it work as I had hoped. Minimizing and preparing to hit the road for an undecided amount of time really took over every brain cell in my head and consumed me. In hindsight, I was moving REALLY FAST, which I'll touch on later. And aside from that, a repetitive thought in my head sometimes as a yoga teacher is: who am I to force it?
I spent equal parts of my trip engrossed in the present moment and in deep reflective spaces. I'll keep it light to start and admit that I was triggered by so many things in every single present moment: and almost anything you can imagine with your significant other. Since space was limited, literally, I only had 2 options in this arena. One option, I could sit quietly, clenching my jaw, replaying what was presently under my skin and just stew about it - and in the some token, be practicing self-discipline and restraint in not needing to "have the last word" or making it known that I am "right". Option two, I could speak out and address the issue. Let me also recognize that sometimes being "outright" on my end very well may have been perceived as somewhat dramatic or even as far as a meltdown. It is what it is at this point. We've learned. We've moved forward. But since I was definitely working in both of those spaces, dramatics and restraints, I've recognized where I have work to do with my own ego and needing to be validated.
Aside from living with another person, I also had my own habits to face and expectations to manage and daydreams to bring to reality and plans on plans and ideas and more plans about how I expected this cross country adventure to go. I was dealing with my own shit on the regular, which is a full time job. You know, getting my head straight on my shoulders and working out some demons and negative energy so I can "become", really. That's what I'm working towards, right? Aren't we all? To become fully who you're meant to be? To fulfill your life's purpose? To live your dharma? Let me stop myself right there and pull it back.
Becoming is a lifelong journey. It requires dedication and persistence. Planning and spontaneous behavior in unknown doses. And a relentless pursuit of what brings you to life. It takes so much time, it really does. It's never finished. And to recognize this, we must slow down. Take it way out of focus and be messy human creations that purposefully take this big dramatic pause sometimes in order to integrate our experiences. We must. Process the past, live in the present, and move towards the future. That is the recipe for becoming, I believe.
Let me tell you that traveling, and living on the road, I could barely tame my anxiety some days, under the impression that we were simply moving way too fast. Too fast to become. Our trip was just going by so much faster than I had envisioned. We weren't staying in one spot for long enough to really ground there and we were seeing so much, it was exhilarating and at the same time, it was hard to breathe some days. Truly. But I suppose that was exactly how it was meant to be and all part of the grand plan, as well as my own manifestations and karmic lessons paved in front of me. It's really all mixed in there when you lay it out like that... and part of the recipe for becoming too. Go ahead and throw your birth chart into the cosmos too so you can really get in there and determine the severity and ease of it all.
Anyway, I want to wrap all of this up. All this purpose driven living, becoming, and doing it all with ease talk. Here's what I feel that this coming year really has to offer us...
2022. The year we find space and recognize our inherent abilities to determine what we truly value in our lives, where our energy flows effortlessly, and where our energy gets drained. From there, we just follow the plan. Slowly. With a great deal of ease. And no, this is not the "plan" ahead of you as you know it. Not the normal milestones either. We are each starting anew. Fresh. And we're just doing it this year, just setting forth to begin. So please, pave the path ahead of you authentically, inspired, and creatively, with ease, courage, grace for yourself and others, and do enjoy it when you can... because it's never been done before. And you get to do everything for the first time again, with fresh eyes, if you so choose. And I hope you will. Let's find a way to honor this beginning. Invite yourself to explore this year. Take chances. Try something new. Stop taking yourself so seriously. And treat your damn self to living more fully and doing more of what makes you happy.
I see the light in You, my friend